Okay, so this happened in fourth grade, and I was in this class with all these dumbass kids. Here’s some context: My parents typically pack me fruit for a snack, but this time they packed me about half of the leftover Pringles from the previous day, you know, in that cylinder container. I was thrilled because I LOVE PRINGLES. But when recess came, and I was ready to take MY Pringles and eat them outside, they were missing from my bag. I began searching the area, looking for my Pringles. I called the teacher over; she tried to find them but had no luck either. Then it hits me—What if MOIRA STOLE THEM? Moira was this chubby girl in my class that literally ALWAYS wore this purple princess dress that should be classified as a bad Halloween costume (seriously) and was known for being a bitch. Being the judgmental 9-10 year old I was, I straight out concluded that she must’ve stolen my damn Pringles. I told my teacher, “Well, too bad, I’ll just go out for recess now. It was just PRINGLES.” Playing it cool. So I storm out of the classroom and begin looking for Moira. I mean checking different areas, questioning witnesses, wasting my time. So after a solid 10 minutes, I find a group of these kids crowded at the side of one of the portable classrooms. I rush over to see what it is. The kids were eating Pringles. Barbecue flavored Pringles. MY PRINGLES. I start raging as I smack the Pringles out of the kids’ hands and start ripping people away from the main source. And in the middle of all the kids, sat a smug looking MOIRA with my PRINGLES. I look all mad and rip the BLOODY EMPTY CONTAINER OF PRINGLES OUT OF THE DAMN BITCH’S FILTHY HANDS. By now, even clueless Moira knows she’s in trouble. I would’ve murdered her at the very least, but a supervisor saw us and ran over. Moira was forced to apologize and I was forced to accept her damn apology. I never got to eat my Pringles. To this day, I’m certain she fears my cold, dead hands, ready to tear her lying face off.