I have chosen to stay anonymous to protect my identity from the embarrassment. Last night, I got hungry and opted to make some ramen. I extracted the various packets from the bowl, included the flavor and veggies, then put the bowl in the microwave. After about a minute or two, I understood something was wrong. A terrible burning smell had filled my kitchen. I unlatched the door to my microwave and…lo and behold…I had failed to put in water. There was some smoke emanating from the bowl. Not wanting to discard the ramen, I went to the sink and poured in water, which filled the room with acrid smoke for several seconds. I then returned the bowl again in the microwave and cooked it for two more minutes before attempting to eat it. Well…It went okay for a little while, until I encountered a globule of blackened noodles which had turned into some sort of bizarre crystalline substance unknown to humanity. I had a change of mind.